I just could not sleep past 6:30. I woke three time
before then and finally gave in. I dressed, brushed and began to complete my
packing. The end of the trip has arrived and I realize I want to do more.
I feel a small impact with every act of service, but I think I my gift lies in
working with kids.
Joel has talked with Marc about the activities for our
next visit. They include renovations to the church and the boy's home. He told
us this last night as we 'debriefed' the group from Skillman.
Our journey home was no piece of cake. At first, we
thought we'd miss breakfast and rush our goodbyes. But we were just being anxious. When will we learn to live more like the Hondurans? We
arrived with ample time before departure, however our plane was not ready for
us. When we finally took off, we were twenty minutes behind schedule.
Obviously, this stressed me.
Upon arrival in Miami, we made a mad dash for passport
control. Ben, Clark and I turned it into a footrace. In retrospect,
that was not a good idea considering my hamstring has been bothering me. Our group got split at baggage claim, but eventually we all boarded the plane.
As we de-boarded in Dallas, we were greeted with
open arms by everyone. There were cheers, hugs and smiles. We were happy to be
back, but part of my heart will always be with those I met in Hondo!
The trip is over and all I can do is think about the
impacts of our work. Not only on the lives of the people we served, but on us
as well. Specifically, I am thinking of how it has affected my ideology.
Recently, I have struggled with God allowing suffering. I
just can't fathom a loving God that would allow the innocent to feel pain at
random. Through no fault of their own, but pure chance they are dropped into
environments where poverty, hunger, disease and abuse are regular parts of
life. While others live a life a prosperity, gluttony, health and peace. Why?
In discussing this with a close friend, they concluded
(not ultimately) that is it hard to bring another being into this fallen world.
I could not help but agree. I would not want to be part of a system that set
the innocent on a path of sure failure. It seems selfish, conceited and evil.
I struggle but this trip has given me hope.
Maybe I am focusing too much on the pain in these situations and not enough on
the progress. Wherever there is an Anahi- poor, afraid and alone. There is
someone like Jessica- joyous, loving and persevering. There are Gabriels, but
there are also Minors to look after him. You have people like Karol and Kelin. Due to their faith in God, they have found the fortitude to deal with the hand they
were dealt. Now, they are both in college working to become more than their
past. Through love and support of Marc they will be in a position to do someone
about their surroundings.
I have not reconciled the existence of the cosmic
lottery. But I have found that focus and faith in God's plan,
the love of Christ and the strength of the Holy Spirit can get us through.
Thank you for supporting my blog this year. I look
forward to writing more as things develop. God bless you all.
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope."- Jeremiah 29:11
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