S.A.D. not this year, try S.A.W.

The weekend started on Wednesday for me. I took a trip to CS for recruiting. David Z. and I rode separately, so I got to rent a sweet ride. I got a Cobalt, but it was red. No big deal because it is a Cobalt... or so I thought. I never new the roller coaster weekend I had in store.
Talk about being the ultimate idiot. I was on the phone with K Kid at about 2am, Thursday. As we were talking she said something about being us being in a relationship. To which I said, "We're in a relationship?" How dumb a statement was that?

Since I could not track Sandy down in CS, I went for sushi with Georgina and Arin. Afterwards, we saw ___ and then Arin and I turned in for the night. But not before enjoying concretes from Shakes. When we got back to her place, we stayed up for about an hour talking about texting and relationships. My opinion is that texting is too impersonal for relationships. It allows too many opportunities for 'outs. At this point, she said I should see He's Not That Into You. I said I would, but I would have to read the book first.I never felt so empty on a S.A.D as I did this year. This was not only do to the fact that I was single. Other events have added to this years depression.

First, I was pulled over by the police on my way from CS. I was talking on my phone (ear piece in use) with Greg when a trooper pulled behind me. He claimed I was speeding and I KNOW I wasn't, but I had not energy to argue and took it. I called Greg back and proceeded with the remainder of my journey home.Later that day, I could not get in touch with K. Her phone was out of commission. Instead I talked to her mom because I thought she may be feeling down during this weekend as well. Apparently, she has been unable to get in touch with K as well. Ain't that something. Well, we wished each other a good day and moved on.

I never really finished writing this story and I don't remember all of the events at this time.  I can summarize:

A week later, my car lost it transmission while coming home from a movie with Micah.  A tow truck took me home.  If repairs were more than $2000, I was going to get a new car.  This was the ultimate result.  I now drive a 2009 Chevrolet Cobalt named Flux!

A few weeks after that, I found that K did had 'issues' with monogamy.  To save my heart, I had to let that relationship go.  I think if her from time to time because she was kind.  But I don't think it was completely safe for me.  I have been rather guarded since. 

Sympathy... Empathy?

I don't think I am the best person to go to in a stressful situation. When called upon, I often question the judgment of those that have requested. I am not the one that gives a hug at the right time. I am not the one that says all of the words to make the pain go away. I often find myself thinking, "What can I do?" That is not saying that I am not helpful in a stressful situation. I am just not the absolute best person that will do everything that is dreamed of.

However, I do know what NOT to do in a stressful situation. My experiences in life have told me that this is not something that I learned form the people responsible for giving me life. I have always thought that some things come as instinct, but I have learned that sympathy and empathy may not come standard on God's human models.

There are many things that can happen when someone is in a stressful situation. These things can be psychological, physical and physiological. All in all, the wills are tested and breakdowns may be eminent. With this knowledge, I would think that it is an elementary fact that you do not want to meet a stressful situation with more stress. I now know that this assumption is sadly off base.

With that said... If you are dealing with someone that is stressed, the fact that you are right or wrong does not matter. Ultimately, the person just wants the situation resolved and will not praise you for your victory. They could care less. Furthermore, the person does NOT want to relive how you came upon your 'correct' conclusion. Especially. with a play-by-play in the heat of the moment. Arguments do not make the person feel better, nor does it take away from their already troubled mood.

"What's comin' will come, an' we'll meet it when it does."- Hagrid (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)

Die Another Day

We spend a good part of our lives in preparation. Maybe we are saving money. Maybe its a New Year's resolution. Maybe we study for life changing tests. We spend a great deal of time trying to shape the outcome of our lives. Thus, if the plans we make don't come true, we die inside.

When plans fail, we hurt... we die. The setback is one that we feel we will never recover from. Yet, when we finally do, we start preparing for the next thing. The vicious cycle continues. Not only do we live these lives, but we pass this behaviour to our youth. Now we have 14 year old boys with addictions to Starbucks to do well on a test. We have 16 year old girls that fight tooth and nail to be on top. Then, when they meet their road block...

I am no saint I am guilty of the same. But I have come to a realization. No matter what distance I run, what test I take, what book I read... No matter whether I live or die. Life will still go on. There are going to be cloudy days, but there are going to be sunny ones as well. There will be warmth and there will be bitter cold. No matter what, I will endure through them all. Until death, I have no choice but to live on.

"We just might be okay, afterall. Sun gon' shine on this day."- Lupe Fiasco

Times up?

When I started this entry, I was done. Emotionally drained, I was ready to give up on ASE. It was her birthday and I hadn't heard from her all day. I left a message telling her to call me (I wanted to finalize some plans) and got no response. I went to Meshallyn's surprise party and it was all that I could think of. The situation soon became the center of our discussion.

On my drive home, I decided I was done. This blog was gonna be the announcement that I was going to be single from this point on. It was going to be my declaration that I have officially given up on love and the pursuit of happiness. It seems that whenever I hold back, things go my way. When I decide to take the plunge, somethings shows me that it is not the right time, person, place...

That was what this entry was about until I checked facebook. Now, I think I take it all back. Now, I am singing a new song (Mr. A to Z). At least for the time being. Did I act in haste. Did I let it get to me for no reason. Matters of the heart can really suck! Hopefully, I will go to sleep and things will be different tomorrow.

"El amor no es un sentimiento, es un habilidad."- Dan in Real Life (Marty Barasco)