Things we can't have?

I was talking with an old friend on the phone last week and we began sharing things we were good at cooking. As I told her that I make a good chili, she asked me to share the recipe. I kindly replied that I would rather not.

A few days later, I checked a message on MySpace from a friend that had previously asked for the chili recipe. She said she really wanted the recipe and jokingly promised "I'll get it out of you one way or another." I am afraid not my friend.

Tonight, K Kid asked me for the recipe over the phone. She too was perplexed as to why I was not sharing.

I am NOT going to reveal the recipe. Why does everyone keep asking for it? Is it really that tasty? I think I have had better. I am honestly flattered, but you are not going to get it from me.

Lately, all I can think about it the next time I will see ASE. I know there are a lot of important dates and events coming up and I can't think of anything I would enjoy more than to share them with ASE. In my mind, I have mad plans to take Khen to see Christmast lights. But this is all in my mind.

I know now isn't the time for this at all. With my on-going project, I can't give the time and attention to things like this as they are needed. Am I am ready for ASE. Is ASE ready for me. Maybe it is time we met up again. Maybe the time isn't right (as it never really is).

I suppose some people want a good chili... Others just want it to be the right time...
Whatever it is, we only want that which we can not have.

"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"- Stephen Wright

Straight from the Bible- Part 2

A few weeks ago, I asked my Sunday school class for God to give me patience and endurance. Who knew that that would be tested in more ways than one.

Being immobile and dependent on other has given me a new outlook on being able bodied. I had to depend on Pepe to take me to and from work. I had to depend on Devashree and Wiggs to help me prepare my lunch... prepare my lunch! I felt ridiculous. During this, I made up my mind that I was going to be walking on my own by Monday.

All weekend I worked hard in hopes that I could give Pepe a call and tell him that I would be driving myself to work (or even better, riding the train again). I spent all Friday night nursing my leg with warmth and massages. I spent Saturday testing my 'walking'. The big test came about 4pm when I had to test my driving skills. I passed that test (though not with flying colors). There was minimal pain so, I felt comfortable telling Pepe that I could take it from here.

I was so proud of myself as I drove in to work at my normal (early) time. I set up and got started on my tasks for the day. I was feeling great. That is, until about lunch time. I began to feel fatigue and pain in my leg. This time, the pain shot from my knee all the way to my heal. I tried to muster a smile as co-workers made comments like, "We still think you are faking", "Walk it off" and "Its just shin splints." I just told myself that there is no way they could know how much pain I was truly in.

Things got worse at about 2pm when the doctor's office called me to schedule more tests. I wanted to be able to tell them that I was healing nicely and there was no need. However my hope was clouded by reality. Then reality hit when I was told the cost and time it would take to perform the tests. I start freaking out. I don't like hospitals and I didn't want to have to pay for the tests. I scheduled them for Wednesday after work and sat sulking at my desk for the remainder of the day.

That evening, I was supposed to go to Margarita Ranch (right, me out... on a weekday) but chose to go home and wallow in self pity. I wouldn't say I threw a party, but my place was pretty miserable. Even watching Heroes did not bring me joy. I went to bed early in hopes that rest would turn my mood around.

I wake each morning with the same thing in mind. "Today is the day I walk." I am usually let down. This morning, however, was not complete disappointment. Basically, I was at a level at which I could get around if I had cane. Hope began to rear its head once more. I went to work feeling a bit more upbeat then the previous day. I still had the fear of more tests, but I tried to look past that.

It was not until I got home that my I truly felt major improvement. Walking to the kitchen from your bedroom with a small limp may not be much to the average person. However, to someone that yearns to run again, it means the world. At 7:30pm tonight, my hope was restored!

Though I am afraid, I will still have the tests performed tomorrow. But now, I hope that they show nothing but me healing properly. I don't care if it was shin splints, muscle strain or even a splinter. I just hope to be told that I am recovering properly and this will never be a problem again as long as I don't try the same thing again.

"... there has never been anything false about hope."- Barack Obama

Straight from the Bible- Part 1

The events of the past week can only be described as 'straight from the bible.' As I share these events, know that I am not exaggerating and no parts of the story are fabricated. I speak the truth my friends.

"For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." - Matthew 11:30
As it happened, I could not believe what was happening. Furthermore, I could not believe the pain. I was in around mile 6.5 of the 8 mile Turkey Trot when I began to have a bit of trouble. As my MP3 player blasted in my ears, I could not get the rhythm back into my stride. The race was at a loss. I limped to the side in pain as I tried to stretch my aching left leg.

Suddenly, the voice of P-Diddy rang out amongst the lyrics of Hate Me Now and I gained a bit more confidence. "You think I'ma come this far and let you stop me now?" I may have been in pain, but I have to finish this race. As I began running again, fellow runners [Aggies and Longhorns] shouted encouragement as they passed me approaching the races end. With this encouragement, there was no way I was going to walk across the finish line. With all of the sinew within me I finished the race! But, at what cost?

As I waited patiently for Greg and Dani at our meeting point, I found that I was quickly losing use of my left foot. I could no longer walk. When Greg and Dani finally found me, the three of us were astonished at my sudden immobility. With the roads blocked and us fatigued from the race, how were we going to get me to my vehicle and home to rest.

As we put our heads together a man in a burnt orange fleece appeared in the distance. He was about 6 feet tall around 50-60 years old and had an average/athletic build.
"Can I help you with anything?", he said.
"He can't walk and we are simply trying to see if we can move our car closer. Maybe we can get a policeman or paramedic to move one of these road blocks for us," was Dani's reply.
"Oh, I don't know if they will do that, but I will help you." He began to come closer as though he was sizing my weight.
"Oh sir, that's okay I think we can figure something out, but thank you."
"It's no trouble. Hop on." As I looked, the man got on his hands and knees to allow me to get on his back.
"You're kidding, right?" was the only response I could give as I looked on in disbelief.
"No, come on. How far is it?" he asked.
"I think I am not sure how far it is, but it is was a nice walk on the way here." Greg replied.
"Well, I will take you as far as I can."
As far as he could turned out to be about 5 blocks on his back, with no breaks. As we walked (or as I rode), it dawned on me that I did not know this man from Adam. I politely introduced myself, but he never told us his name. As we walked, we were greeted by people that seemed to know him, as he stopped at time (without putting me down) to exchange pleasantries. As we passed one young lady, he shouted a few things to her as she looked peculiarly at him as though she was verifying his identity. Afterwards he said, "Oh, that was my daughter. I bet you thought she was going to say, 'Dad did you know there is a black man on your back?'

As we reached the last block, he kindly leaned me against a street sign and wished us a Happy Thanksgiving. I thanked him and tried to find words to say to this anonymous man that performed such a random act of kindness. As I did not have my wallet, I was brainstorming something to give him. I bowed my head in humility as Dani and I tried to express how grateful we were. Finding the right words was becoming very difficult. As I looked up, he was already walking away.

Back by popular demand...

I thought I would start this blog with a quote so that everyone can get back to the nature of my writings. Its still me. I still have lots on my mind. I am still striving to find the good in all things. I am blogging again, but for the time being the language will remain in English. That is until I get to 'go back home.'

As many of you can see, quite a bit of time has passed since I maintained a blog. Much has happened in this time. Some of you wondered why I suddenly 'stopped writing.' Many of you guessed correctly, so I will leave it at that. In the meantime, you are blessed to have a VERY brief summary of what I have been up to. Hear goes another stream of conscience entry...

Returned to the states
Whirlwind semester of hard work and fun times
Made some really good friendships
Enjoyed being the 'sole resident' in a great apartment
Eldest sister marries in February (not a pretty occasion)
Gained a second residence at Langford
Spring break in Houston with Aisha and Galveston with Princess Olivia
Ended the semester with a bang
Took my last walks on TAMU campus
Took a trip to Belize
Moved to North Dallas
Kiah passes on June 8, 2007 (a secret kept from me until the funeral)
Sister and I begin reconciliation
Started at Corgan June 11, 2007
Discovered the Duck and preferred to keep my distance
I don't drunk dial, I drunk text (Hey ASE!)
Camilla begins having a hard time
Miaya Eloise is born September 6, 2007
Mother has knee surgery (I really hate hospitals)
Where did ASE go?
Camilla moves to Austin
No Spring break for Hep
Work keeps me adequately busy
Princess Miaya has a great Easter
Hey K Kid
Brandon Hepburn, LEED AP
Congrats Kofi and T
Oh, there's ASE
Congrats Eric and Courtney
Happy Birthday?
Ouch, ASE (quit breaking my heart)
Happy 21st KK
Ft. Worth rendezvous. (Nice to meet you CalS)
Dark Knight is the best Batman, yet
Start on personal projects
No time for anything (thanks G and Dani)
Work, read, run, work read, run
Happy 1st Miaya
Happy 10th Micah (That boy is popular)
Wow, I am getting healthy again
Personal projects get hard (I'm going back to Cali... nah, I don't think so)
Welcome, President Barack Obama
Great, the Duck is back and he has brought his friend Eagle (good one Wiggz)
Turkey Trot and crutches (more info coming soon)

This brings me to now... welcome back to my life.

"Who else could take five years off, Cold turkey, come back, and fly lids off?"
- Mase (Lean Back, Terror Squad)

My next move...

Hmm... so I have not written a blog anywhere in awhile. And I know everyone wants to hear about my exciting adn interesting life. I really have no idea which spot I should contiue writing on. I leave it to you guys to vote. You tell me by leaving comments. (This also tells me if anyone actually reads these things ...lol.)

Here are the options:
Blogspot
Xanga
MySpace

Be Patient

Friends,

Please remember that I am in school. As you can see, I have not updated my blog in a bit. I have not forgotten ya'll. I have been traveling for the past two weeks so, I am a month behind. Check daily (hourly) as I have a lot to write before I forget.

Hep

Antwerpen, Groundhog Dag & Kat voor Diner

In order to give Jason some time with his uncle, Aisha and I slept in rather late. However, we delayed a rather simple, yet hardy breakfast. It constisted of pastries, cheese, cerals, muffins and coffee. It was amazing. To top it off, there was reggae & Jamaican rap playing in the background. Unlike American rap, Jamaican rap has a message. We sat at the table for about two hours just talking. It was so relaxing and so amazing, yet this was not the end.

We loaded up the car and allowed Uncle Lukey to give us a tour of his tour. It is amazing how much he knows about the town. Then again, I supposed we should all know about the place we live. He was very pleased to give us tours of local attractions and introduce us to prominent community members. The tour concluded in a beer bar that is known for having famous jazz musicians. The only one that wanted a beer (a little after noon) was Aisha. We made her drink it pretty fast so that Uncle Lukey could drop us off at the commuter train station.

You ever have a day that felt like the same thing was happening over and over again? Well, I think today qualifies as one of those days. A local hottie got on the same communter train as we. However, she got off a stop before we did. She was really beautiful and I wanted to follow her, but I didn't. We made our way to the main station. Upon arrival, we found that the train actually picks up at the previous station. In other words, I should have followed the hot girl. After making it back to this station, we somehow got on the wrong train and ended up back at the same station. Learning our lesson, we tried again... ok, so maybe we didn't learn our lesson. It took about three tries before we finally got on the right train.

We arrived in Amsterdam a little after ten. We found our hostel and it had to be the most amazing place ever, St. Christopher's. It was at the entrance to the red light district and had a bar/restaurant on the main floor. The rooms were themed, so our place was painted wall to wall with the EastPak character. We were also on the top floor. This was a great place to end a day that was rocky for awhile.

After we checked in, we decided to get something to eat. While walking, I noticed a place that made doner kababs. Since I loved them so much, I persuaded Aisha and Jason to try them. They agreed. Alarms did not go off when I asked him what kind of meat it was and he said, "I don't know. It is meat. It is not pork, but it is meat." We ordered and waited as he heated up the meat. Heated up? The was no flame, so searing. He pulled the meat out of a freezer. I should have let it stop right there, but I didn't. While we were standing in line, three "interesting" girls from Wales walked in and began to hold conversation with me. They were in great spirits until they looked down and saw two kittens freely crawling about the establishment. They began to rant about how unsanitary this was (in the cutest little accents). Just as they calmed, the man handed me my "doner kabab". I didn't look like it normally did. I took a bite... then looked at the floor. I seriously think he cut up those kittens and served the meat. I payed for all three and advised Aisha and Jason against eating them. It was horrible. We walked up and down the street looking for a trash can.